Playing it Safe
by LadyLovely127
Summary: I'm not good at summaries because I think I'm going to go a certain direction and then change my mind. SO, I will say this is an Achele story. There are some Nayanna,or Rivergron as some say, scenes as well. It's full of romance, heartache, sex, love, humor, angst, and whatever emotion I might feel like exploring! Please let me know what you think! Your reviews keep me going!
1. Chapter 1

I was walking onto set with Starbucks in hand and my beats in ear. I cannot believe it is season three already. I had read the first script so far and I am pretty excited about the direction they are taking my character. Quinn has always been fun to play. I mean the whole bitch, pregnancy, popular girl thing but this was really going to be something new and exciting!

The first person I see as I walk into the table read is Lea. She spins out of her chair and comes running at me , "There she is!" Lea shrieks and wraps her arms around my waist.

"Hey stranger," I grumbled back as I took my ear buds out and wrapped them into my clutch. I wanted to be angry with her. I couldn't help but smile though. It's beyond adorable the way she looks when she is excited to see me.

"Stranger? Okay Dianna I know its been awhile but stranger is a bit harsh don't ya think?" Lea chuckled as she stepped back.

"Awhile? Geez Lea, it's been a month!" I said back pretty annoyed. I don't know what has happened to us. We started tour inseparable. We bunked together, sat together on the flights, we were practically attached at the hip, and then half way through things just got awkward. I hadn't seen her since the morning after the last show when we were all boarding our different flights to head home. Not seeing her for that long was eating away at me. Ever since I started realizing I had feelings for her I found it hard to be around her but it was even harder to not be with her at all.

"I know, I know. I am so sorry. I have been extremely busy but I thought about you everyday!" Lea smiled that smile and grabbed my hands. "Please forgive me! I promise as soon as we have a free night its you and me babe. We will just vegetate on the couch. Okay?"

Oh, how could I resist that face. "Okay, sounds perfect."

Lea smiled and led me to a chair next to hers, "Awesome!"

I slowly sipped my coffee as I admired her moving her lips as she silently read her lines. The others started to pile into the room and everything was right in the world again. I cannot stand when we aren't filming. I am a busy body by nature and although I usually find plenty of things to keep myself occupied I miss my friends terribly.

I was home with a few bags from Trader Joes full of all of our favorite snacks and beverages and ready to spend the night with one of my favorite people. I was getting the spinach dip ready when Arthur started his sad little excuse for a bark at the window. I peeked out to see Lea practically skipping up the walk. I opened the door and was greeted with the usual warm hug.

"Oh my goodness, I smell spinach dip!" There was that shriek again.

"Well you really didn't think we could have a girls night without it did you?" I laughed. Lea and I practically lived off of spinach dip when we shared our place.

We made our way into the kitchen and started pouring our wine.

"Oh Dianna the pink is you darling," Lea exclaimed as she ran her fingers through the front of my hair. Instant goosebumps.

"Ha, ha, ha." I replied.

"Actually it is kinda hot. I mean its like the bad ass Dianna." Lea winked at me and headed to the living room. Sometimes I wonder if she knows how I feel about her and she teases me on purpose. No, no. I have to remember this is how Lea and I have always been. We were like this with each other long before I started having feelings for her.

I followed her with dip and pita in hand and sank into the corner of the couch. Lea was at the other end already barefoot with legs stretched out onto the coffee table. She laid her head back on the back of the couch and let out a deep sigh.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just so tired! I swear I don't remember the last time I had a solid nights sleep."

"Well you better not crash on me yet! It is only 4 o' clock!" I giggled as I took a sip of my wine.

"Oh, no way babe. I have been looking forward to this. I miss you." She tilted her head to the side and smiled at me.

"I miss you too." I sighed.

We sat in silence for a minute as Arthur found his way onto her lap.

"So, what happened Lee?"

"What do you mean?" She re-poured her wine. Oh man not even twenty minutes and she was on her second glass. Either this night was going to be interesting or she would be asleep within an hour.

"I mean, with us. Like half way through tour you became super distant. I tried not to think much of it but something didn't feel right. And then when tour was over and I didn't hear from you at all. I mean its not like us."

Lea looked down at Arthur and took another sip. "Don't get mad okay?" Eh I hate when conversations begin like that.

"Okay," This time I took a gulp of my wine.

"Well, you know how we all joke about the whole Achele thing?"

"Yeah," I rolled my eyes. The fans aren't the only ones hoping that Achele happens.

"Well, you know nobody ever took it seriously until the tour. When all of the videos and pictures continued to pop up night after night of us on stage Cory started to get upset."

"What do you mean?" I said a little angry and confused. Cory was usually the main one laughing about it all.

"He said that it was starting to become harder and harder to pretend like nothing was going on. I reassured him that nothing was, we are just friends, but he didn't hear it. He said if we were just friends why didn't I act like that with everyone else. I told him that I did and so did you but he just kept saying 'not like that'"

"So, you stopped talking to me because Cory assumed there was something going on that wasn't?"

"I didn't mean to stop talking to you. I never realized you felt that I had. I just tried to cool it down a little because if he was so convinced I assumed everyone else was too. I didn't think either one of us wanted to deal with that."

"Deal with what exactly? People have been saying that we were something more than we are for a long time. I just don't understand why its becoming an issue now." This time I had to refill my glass.

"Di, please don't get angry. I didn't mean for it to make you upset. I just thought you deserved to know how Cory was feeling."

"Why didn't he just talk to me about it? I mean we are all friends, right? Since when are we hiding feelings from each other." Ouch, that one stung to say. I'm guilty of hiding my feelings every day.

"Well, Cory and I have become a lot closer. We are pretty serious now. I mean he is practically living with me. You know guys, he probably just feels threatened by you."

"Oh, please. He has to know better than that."

"I don't know lady Di. You are pretty irresistible." Lea winked at me and smiled."Come on, you know you wanna smile. We don't want to spend our night upset!"

I shrugged my shoulders and took another sip.

"Dianna...you know you want to smile..." Lea set her glass down and crawled over in front of me. "Dianna, come on, smile!" At this point she started tickling me and making goofy faces and I cracked.

"Okay, okay," I laughed. "I'm over it!"

"Good." Lea laid down next to me wrapping her arm around my waist. "Now, what movie are we watching first?" She said as she yawned.

"Why don't we just take a nap. I could use one and you are one glass of wine away from a deep sleep."

"No, no, no this is our night I'm not spending it sleeping," Lea said followed by another yawn.

"We won't. I will set my alarm for an hour and then we can order in dinner and enjoy the night,"

"Okay," Lea said this time eyes closed.

I smiled and pulled the throw blanket down over us and we both drifted off to sleep.

I woke up, not to the sound of my alarm, but to Lea stroking my nose with her finger nail and giggling. "Wake up sleepy head"

I smiled. She sat up on one elbow and started tracing circles on my t shirt. "So what do you want to do?"

"I don't care. We can get take out or we can head out for dinner or something."

"Ya know Nay text me earlier and said that her, Kev, and Harry were all headed over to Chords for dinner and drinks. They wanted us to join. I told them no because it was our night but if you wanna go we definitely can."

"Yeah, actually that sounds like fun. I have been so focused on my site and such lately that I haven't had a night out in a while."

"Awesome I will let her know we are coming and we can head over." Lea stood up, phone in hand, and headed to my bedroom.

I followed behind, after I cleaned up our glasses and spinach dip that we unfortunately never enjoyed. I walked into a very familiar situation Lea standing in her bra and panties digging through my closet. She made it a habit to raid my closet whenever she was over and I usually did the same when I was with her.

"Oh my this is amazing!" Lea shrieked as she pulled out the new dress I picked up on tour.

"Well put it on!"

Lea slipped into it and I helped her fasten up. The blue fabric hugged her in all of the right places and showed off her flawless tan back and shoulders. She flipped her hair around her shoulder and I planted a small kiss on her bare skin. Sometimes I just can't help myself with her. I know I shouldn't do these things and I start to get angry with myself when I do. On the other hand, we have always been this way, long before I realized that I liked her in that way. If I just stopped being affectionate with her she would wonder what was going on and that would create another set of issues.

"You look hot babe!" I smiled at her as I stepped into my closet to change.

"Thanks lovely. What are you thinking about wearing?"

"I have no idea." I said as I slipped out of my jeans and started rummaging through the hangers.

"Well you could just go like that," Lea giggled, "I don't think anyone would mind"

I laughed as I reached for my favorite black dress that I don't wear as often as I should. "So is anyone else coming tonight?" I didn't ask what I wanted to ask which was is Cory coming tonight. I love Cory but I feel relaxed around Lea again and I wanted to enjoy this night.

"Well Amber and Jenna had plans. Nay said that Heather and Taylor are going to stop by for a bit. Darren just text and said that he was on his way to some event and Chris said he would have to do it another day."

"Oh okay," I replied still unsure if I was going to have a good time or not.

"And stop worrying because Cory is with some friends out of town at a concert." Lea smiled at me as she leaned against my closet door. She knows me too well.

"I wasn't worried."

"Oh you so were." Lea laughed as she zipped me up and placed her hands on my hips and rested her chin on my shoulder. "It's going to be a good time babe."

We walked into Chords back yard, way overdressed, as usual. Lea and I were always overdressed. Naya was sitting at his bar with a drink in hand in some jeans and a blank tank top looking hot as ever and Kev was standing next to her with a beer laughing hysterically as he usually is when they are together.

"Hola ladies," Naya said as she saw us walking up.

"Whoa, where's the red carpet?" Kev laughed. As I said we were way overdressed.

Chord came through the patio doors with a tray of turkey burgers and random veggies to throw on the grill and Harry started pouring us drinks.

"Oh shut up Kev. We just like to look good!"

"Hey now, I'm not all decked out and I know I look good." Nay said laughing.

"Honey, you always look good," Lea said as she took her drink from Harry. We all tossed our phones in an empty bowl behind the bar. It was like our policy when we all hung out. When we aren't working its just us. No phones, no work, no internet. Just us.

We had all made our way around the table on the patio as Chord brought over piles of delicious food. Lea and I were next to each other across from Kev and Naya. Harry and Chord were at the ends of the table when the gate opened.

"Whats up bitches!" Heather yelled laughing. She walked up holding hands with Taylor and Chord pulled up two more seats.

Naya ran up and gave Heather and then Taylor a hug. Despite what people love to assume there is nothing between Naya and Heather. In fact, Naya adores Taylor and respects their relationship a lot. Now, I'm not saying Naya doesn't like the ladies, but as her and I both decided months ago we don't put a label on ourselves anymore. Love is love. We describe ourselves as gender blind.

We all sat around the table laughing, eating, and talking with our mouths full. We do that a lot because we get so passionate about things nobody takes the time to swallow before talking over someone else. At any given time there is at least four conversations going on inside of one big discussion. I love my friends.

I was finished eating and sipping on my third cocktail of the evening when Lea slipped her hand on my thigh. She started running her fingers up and down and in little circles as she continued talking to Harry about this new show she wanted to see. Something was different this time. I'm used to Lea being overly friendly, as a group we are all very touchy feely people, but something about the way she is touching me and looking at me tonight is just different.

"So, what do you think," Heather nudged me.

"Huh," I snapped out of my thoughts, "I'm sorry, what?" I laughed.

Heather giggled, "are you up for a swim?" The sun was setting over the pool and it was such a gorgeous night. I looked over and saw the guys already jumping in, Heather was in a suit, and Naya headed into the house to change. Geez how long had I been spaced out.

"I don't have a suit," I replied and there was no way I was ruining this dress.

"You don't need a suit, silly." Lea smiled at me as she stood up and motioned for me to unzip her.

"You are not serious." I laughed.

"Oh, come on. It's not like everyone hasn't seen us in our underwear before. Tour was nothing but all of us stripping down in front of each other. Don't be shy now." She smiled and motioned for me to unzip her again.

I did as I was told and Lea stepped out of the dress to reveal that gorgeous body in her matching pink bra and panty set.

"Turn around, I know you're not going to ruin that dress," Lea laughed as she began unzipping me.

I stepped out of mine and immediately felt a chill.

"OW OW!" Naya yelled as she walked through the patio doors and headed to the pool."Looking good Ms. Agron!"

Lea grabbed my hand and we ran to the pool. Thank goodness for heated pools because it was starting to get chilly out. The guys were in a heated game of HORSE with the pool basketball hoop and Heather was busy doing random handstands and such under water. Naya was floating around, drink in hand, and laughing every time one of the guys slipped trying to look like a bad ass. Lea was leaning up against the edge, head back, and all of that beautiful hair draped over her shoulders with the tips in the water. I made my way over to her and leaned back next to her.

"Still tired?" I said as she turned her head to look at me.

"Something like that," Lea smiled and I felt her hand grab mine under water.

"We can go if you want to."

"No, I'm having an amazing time. Unless you want to."

"No way, this is the most relaxed I have been in a long time." I felt Lea's hand slip behind my back and she started to rub up and down.

"Well, good. You know about all of that stuff earlier."

I took a deep breath and tried to prepare myself for what could possibly follow. "yeah."

"I hope you know that no matter what anyone thinks or says nothing could keep me from being your friend. You are so important to me and I always want you in my life."

I smiled, "Thank you babe. You too. I can't imagine my life without you."

"Yeah, I don't know what happened on tour but I was just working through some things I guess and wasn't sure how to handle everything. I'm really sorry though and it won't happen again."

I was a little confused. What was she working through that she couldn't talk to me about? We shared everything with each other. Well, not everything I guess. She has no idea that I think about her constantly. She has no idea that every time I look at her I imagine myself kissing her. Oh well, I am having an amazing night and I am not getting into it now. "Its okay hun. Don't worry about it. The important thing is we are back to us again."

Lea smiled at me, "Okay well I'm going to go get me another drink! Want one?"

"No, I'm good for now."

"Okay be back in a bit." Lea jumped up on the ledge and pulled herself up and I couldn't help but fixate on her perfect body as it glistened in the moonlight when she walked away.

"Everything better between you two now?" Naya said as she swam over to me.

"Yeah, we talked it out. I guess" I was still slightly confused over the whole thing.

"Good, I can't stand when the group feels separated and it definitely did there for a bit."

"I know. Sorry about that. But it seems as though we are good now. I just hope that things aren't weird between Cory and I."

"Why would they be?" Nay took another sip of her drink.

"Well Lea said that he got worried about all of the Achele speculations that were happening on tour."

"Oh please. He will get over it. You two have been like that since day one. Why is it bugging him now?"

"I don't know. It all seems a little odd to me. Lee was pretty vague when she was talking about it. I don't really care to know all the details I just don't want things to be awkward."

"Yeah, I hear ya. Besides everybody knows if any two ladies in this group were hookin' up its you and I." Naya swam up against me.

Naya and I have this funny kind of friendship. The first time we kissed was when we were drunk at my birthday party before tour and ended up having quite a hot and heavy make out session. We both blamed it on the alcohol, ha ha, until it happened again the first night of tour and we were completely sober. Everyone knows, its not something that is hidden between us, and its not something that happens a lot. Usually when all of us get together at one point throughout the night Naya and I find our way to each other. We've never discussed a relationship. We have never needed to. Naya isn't a relationship person at this stage in her life. She is enjoying being financially secure and all of the freedom that comes along with that. I could never think about being with Naya in a relationship because I am obviously head over heals for Lea. I've made up my mind though that Lea is never going to be able to give me what I want from her and that's okay. As long as she is in my life I am completely grateful. I get confused with myself sometimes. If I am so crazy about Lea how can I make out with Naya all the time? I've concluded that Naya just helps me get through the lonely times. We give each other that intimacy that I think every person needs in their life. Especially when I know Lea is at home with Cory. With Naya it's just fun. It's safe. It's comforting.

"I know! Long live Nayanna?" I laughed. "Or is it Rivergron?"

"Either way, I'm on top," Naya laughed as she leaned in and kissed me.

I must admit this girl is an amazing kisser. She quickly finds my waist with her hands and I wrapped my arms around her neck. I can taste the rum on her tongue and I feel my body start to heat up. She is pushing into me and I find my way down to her bikini bottoms and rest my hands comfortably on that amazing ass of hers.

The kissing has been going on for what seems like hours when I feel water splash up on the side of my face.

"Oh ladies. As soon as I saw Naya pouring the rum I knew it was only a matter of time." Lea laughed sipping on her drink.

Naya and I both giggled. "Yeah, yeah. Speaking of rum I need a new drink!" Naya winked at me and made her way to the edge of the pool. I watched her pull herself out of the water and for a split second imagined what it would be like to go further with her. I mean, look at her. The girl can wear a bikini.

"Ladies, it's bon fire time!" Kev yelled and we all made our way from the pool to the fire pit.

After refilling our drinks and saying bye to Heather and Taylor we made it over as Harry was lighting the pit. Chord had brought out some towels for us and Naya was throwing bags of marshmallows at everyone. Lea grabbed a towel and wrapped it around the two of us as we snuggled up by the fire.

"So, I saw the two love birds were getting hot and heavy again," Chord laughed as Naya walked over and sat down across from us.

"Shut up! We are not love birds," Naya laughed before I could say anything.

"Oh please, you all just need to hook up already. Make it official." Kev laughed.

"Hey, when I finally convince her to go all the way, trust me ya'll will be the first to know." Naya laughed.

"And the only ones to know!" I chimed in.

"You ashamed of me Agron," Naya laughed hysterically.

"Babe, if you were my girl I would show you off to the world!"

"Okay..." Lea said, "Lets play a game!"

We were all still laughing as Kev said, "What do you have in mind?"

"TRUTH OR DARE!" Harry and Chord both screamed.

"Oh hell yeah!" Naya chimed in.

Lea turned to me and smiled, "Looks like we are playing truth or dare."

"Another drink and I'm up for anything," I laughed as Naya topped me off.

The game went a few rounds with everyone playing it safe and asking questions that most of us already knew the answers to but now the third bottle of rum was being passed around and Naya jumped up.

"Okay, my turn." She said in her Snix voice and we all got nervous. "Lea, truth or dare?"

Lea smiled and took a swig of her drink, "Dare baby! Bring it on!"

Naya chuckled, "Alright, I dare you to kiss Dianna."

"Oh please. Diana and I have kissed before. She's my bestie," Lea said as she leaned over and gave me a quick peck. "Not your best dare Nay."

"What the hell kind of elementary school shit was that!" Naya laughed. "I didn't say kiss Di like she's your grandma. I said KISS her!"

All eyes turned to us and I admit I became nervous. Lea and I both looked at each other and I felt my heart start to race. We cuddle, we hold hands, we hug, but we don't kiss. It's not like with Naya. Naya and I have fun. Lea and I, well, I don't know what we have but it's different.

Lea leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Are you okay with this? I mean, it's just a game, right?"

I gulped, "Yeah, yeah... of course. It's just a game." Why didn't it feel like it was just a game.


	2. Chapter 2

Lea rest her hand behind me on the ground and I felt her lean in. When our lips met each others I felt her other hand reach up and gently hold my face. The feeling that came over my body was unlike anything I have ever felt before. Her lips were unbelievably soft and I felt my body melt into hers. The kiss lasted a lot longer than I had it expected it too but we she seemed as into it as I was. After a few moments we both pulled back and we gazed into each others eyes as her hand rested on my thigh.

"Alright ladies I said kiss I didn't say go all 'Notebook' on us." Naya said.

We continued to stare at each other. I was terrified. I felt things when I kissed her that I have never felt for anyone. Thoughts are going through my mind like a tornado. Those deep brown eyes were staring into mine and I will gladly stay in this moment forever if I could.

"Okay seriously guys," Kev laughed.

"I, um, I...I have to go to the bathroom." Lea stood up quickly and walked away.

I continued to sit there, spinning.

"What the hell was that Agron?" Naya whispered as she sat down next to me. The boys had already began throwing marshmallows at each other and not paying any attention to what just happened.

"I, I don't know." I replied.

"Well, whatever it was it looked pretty serious.. I didn't know that you felt like that about Lea?"

"We're just friends." I said quietly. I'm still trying to make sense of all of this.

"Hate to break it to ya honey but that wasn't a 'just friends' kiss. I mean girls making out is no big deal but that...whatever that was...looked like a big deal." Naya said as she took another sip.

"I need another drink." I exclaimed as Naya handed me her bottle of rum. "Something stronger than that." I walked up to the bar arms linked with Nay and tossed my keys into the bowl with our phones. We all needed to crash at Chords at this point because none of us were in any state to be driving.

"Hey lady lips," Naya laughed as Lea walked outside.

"Oh shut it up Rivera. You guys have made out a thousand times. What's the big deal?" Lea laughed and walked back to the fire.

"Hmm. Well apparently it was just a make out sesh. No biggie. Right?" Naya said as she pulled out a bottle of Jack.

"Yeah. No biggie." I said as I took a swig.

"That's my girl!" Naya winked and we walked back to the fire.

Lea was sitting on Chords lap when we walked up and they were laughing hysterically at Kev. He had about twelve marshmallows on his stick acting like he was going to eat them all at once.

I sat down, Jack in hand, and tried to make sense of what just happened.

Naya had sat down next to me and was throwing back her rum as fast I was gulping down the Jack.

"Damn, pace yourself ladies. Whats the rush?" Harry laughed

"Its just one of those nights where I feel like getting wasted!" Naya exclaimed.

"Amen." we clanked our bottles together. The night continued on with everybody making small talk, randomly singing, and a lot of drinking. Lea was distant. Very distant. She stayed over with the guys most of the night and she walked back to the house quite a few times. I didn't have the guts to follow after her.

It had to be after two in the morning when Lea stood up and said, "Alright well I must be going to bed. I have an eight am call tomorrow."

At this point I was laying on my back with Naya looking at stars and randomly naming them. Lea bent down over me. "Hey, we will have to reschedule our sleepover because there is no way you are driving."

"No, no way." I replied. I'm pretty sure I saw two of her at that point. "Are you crashing here?"

"No, actually Cory got back in town about an hour ago. I checked my phone when I went to the bathroom last and asked him if he would swing by and get me."

"Oh."

"So I will see you tomorrow at work?"

"Yep."

Lea smiled at me. She looked over and slapped Naya on the foot. "Take care of her okay?"

"Yes mom lady," Naya laughed.

"Okay have fun you two and be safe." Lea stood up and waved goodbye to the guys as she headed towards the driveway where I could see the headlights from Cory's car.

"Are you okay?" Naya asked as we both sat up. The ground was starting to get cold and the guys had already began migrating into the living room for cards.

"Yeah, just cold."

"I hear ya." Naya stood up and put her hand out for me. As I made it to my feet I instantly knew that I was going to regret all of this drinking in the morning.

"I need a water, aspirin, and a blanket." I giggled. "Oh and some clothes. Clothes would be nice." I laughed as I realized that I was still in my bra and panties.

"Well, I have the water, aspirin, blanket thing under control but I don't think you want to sleep in your dress sweet pea." Naya replied as we walked towards the house.

The guys had set up Rock Band on the PlayStation instead and we made our way to Chords guest room. "Good night boys."

"Night," they all sang in unison.

I climbed into bed after I drank half of my bottle of water and waited for the ceiling to stop spinning. I felt the bed sink a little as Nay climbed in next to me.

"So, did you have fun tonight?" Naya asked as I felt her squirming around.

I laughed, "Yeah, what are you doing over there?"

"Oh, sorry I cannot sleep in this bikini top. I can put it back on though if you want me too."

"Don't be silly. I want you to be comfortable." I smiled at her through the little bit of light that was streaming through the windows. "Man, you sure know how to hold your alcohol. You don't even seemed the slightest bit phased." I, on the other hand, was trying to get the ceiling fan to stop spinning.

"Yeah, I've always been that way. Just lucky I guess."

"I guess so." I replied pretty jealous. I checked my phone twenty times since I climbed into bed. Nothing. I don't know what I am expecting from Lea but I feel like there should be something.

"You need to relax lady. You have looked so uptight all night."

"I know. Just got a lot on my mind."

"I know, and I know who you've got on your mind." Naya said as she slid behind me and started to rub my shoulders.

"Oh do ya now?" I couldn't help but lean into her. Whatever she was doing felt amazing and I started to feel more at ease already.

"I have a pretty good idea. You know, just my opinion here, but if you think about her that much you need to tell her. You never know, maybe she feels the same way."

"I don't even know how to feel. That's the problem. It's all just been hitting me so fast. I never saw it coming. Never wanted it to. Never expected it to."

"Yeah, that's usually how it happens. Or so I have heard."

"You have never been confused about someone like this before?"

"No, not really. I mean I have had crushes and stuff before but never like that."

"Wow. That's crazy Nay." Another trait of hers that I was pretty jealous of at this moment. Usually my relationships are cut and dry. I like them, they like me, we date, we break up. This was different. I have honestly never felt these feelings before and I can't stop wondering why all of a sudden, after years, I'm feeling them now. I have tried telling myself over the last few months that it was temporary. That I was just lonely. I can't believe that now. Not after that kiss.

"Whats crazy is that we are in bed together, practically naked, and we aren't making out!" Naya laughed.

I couldn't help but smile. I love this girl so much. She really gets that part of me that just enjoys the intimacy of another person. I don't have to worry about feelings with her. We can just enjoy the fact that we are attracted to each other and have fun with the time that we have.

"Well, that's funny because I was just thinking the same thing." I smiled as I leaned my head back on her shoulders and kissed those amazingly soft lips. I could feel her breasts against my back and I have to admit it was turning me on. I felt Naya's hands leave my shoulders and trail down to my sides. I brought my right hand up and ran my fingers through her hair. She continued kissing me and then leaned me forward enough to slide out from behind me and straddle my hips. I looked up at her beautiful body and let out a small sigh. She was stunning.

"You are so pretty Nay," I smiled as I ran my hands along her thighs. Naya smiled and leaned down to kiss me again. Our kissing became passionate quickly. She started to slowly rock her hips into me and I could hear a small whimper coming from her. My hands were traveling from her back to her sides and back again. Naya had one hand supporting her on the bed and the other one in my hair. I felt her hand start to trail down my neck and then to my back. Our kisses became harder as I felt her fingers slip under my bra. For a split second I wanted to stop. I knew all to well where this was going and I wasn't completely sure that I wanted it to. I love my cuddle and make out sessions with her but I was worried about taking it to that next step. Especially after what happened tonight. We have discussed that it is all in good fun but what if it didn't stay that way. What if this changed everything.

"Are...are you sure?" I whispered out of breath.

"Totally," Naya replied as I felt my bra come undone. "Are you okay?"

I couldn't help it. I wanted this. I needed this. I had to get my mind off of Lea. I heard her say it was just a game. She didn't want what I wanted and I have an amazingly gorgeous woman on top of me willing to love me. I deserved to enjoy this. I smiled as I felt her panties were becoming wet on my stomach and between her smell, her lips, and her fingers running up and down my rib cage I melted. "Mmhmm," I replied biting my lip.

Naya continued pulling my bra off and started to kiss my neck as her hands found their way to my newly exposed breasts. I was running my fingers along her ribs and sides as she was kissing in a trail down my neck, collar bone, and eventually ended on my nipple. At that moment I became completely relaxed. She began sucking lightly as I ran my hand down to her hips and then rest them on her ass. I heard myself letting out soft whimpers as she moaned into me.

"Hey guys wake up!" I jumped as I heard Kevin and looked up to see him standing in the doorway right as he turned the lights on. His eyes went huge as he saw us both practically naked with Naya straddling me.

Naya calmly sat up. "Damn B. Seriously?"

Kevin smirked and put his head down, "sorry ladies. We um we just wanted to...um...ya know...it's not important." He spun out into the hallway and quickly shut the door.

Naya laughed and rolled off of me onto her back.

"Wow." I giggled.

"Did that really just happen?" Naya laughed as she grabbed her head. "Ahhh. Why didn't I lock the damn door."

I flipped onto my side and started running my fingers along her stomach. "We didn't lock the door because we didn't know this was going to happen."

"Well, I hoped it was going to happen." Naya smirked.

"Oh really?"

"Mmhmm. Ever since the first time we kissed babe."

"I see. So was this like your little plan. Get me all drunk and take advantage of me?" I couldn't get the smile off of my face. I was always so happy with her.

"Yeah. And you fell for it too!" Naya laughed as she grabbed my hand and held it with hers resting on her perfectly toned stomach. "In all seriousness though...I have thought about it...like at least a thousand times."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I mean I'm not going to go all mushy on you because we both know that isn't whats happening here. It's just...I'm so comfortable with you. There isn't any expectations of what we have to say or do with each other ya know. It's just nice being with someone who understands that sometimes you just need to make out, or kiss, or ya know." Naya smiled.

"Yeah, I know. I feel the same way." I leaned down and kissed her again. "But, we are women. And as women we tend to let emotions get in the way. Maybe its a good thing that we didn't go through with it. I mean we don't feel any heartstrings being pulled towards each other now but if we went all the way...if we had that level of intimacy...we don't know how we would feel afterward."

"Very true." Naya sat up. "I would be willing to take that chance though." She peered over her shoulder at me and smiled. "However, I don't think that's a wise thing for you to do right now."

I sat up next to her, "why is that?"

"Honey, you need to figure out all of this stuff with Lea. I'm not trying to tell you how you feel but I think you have more feelings for her than you realize. I can understand where Cory is coming from. I know you hug and cuddle all of us, that's who you are, you have a big heart and you're a big flirt and we all really love you for it. But, when it comes to Lea, I don't know. There is just something different. When you are with her...it's very...different."

"Really?" I was a little confused. In my head I treat and act the same way with all of my friends. I mean I'm a little more affectionate with Lea but that's just because we lived together and we became really close.

"Yeah. I can't really put my finger on it. It's just when I see you together I feel like I'm watching two people very much in love."

"Wow."

"Now, I could be wrong. Like I said I'm not trying to tell you what to do or how to feel. I'm just letting you know what I have observed."

"I appreciate it Naya. Thank you." I smiled back at her. I felt myself starting to sober up pretty quickly.

"Of course." She smiled sweetly at me. "Okay, we both need sleep I'm pretty sure we have to be on set in like five hours. Do you want me to go on the couch?"

"Of course not. You would never get any sleep out there." I could still hear the boys yelling at the tv. "Besides, you are supposed to be here with me all cuddled up and warm." I pulled her down next to me and wrapped my arms around her. I don't know what I'm feeling for Lea or what lies ahead but for now, for tonight, I need the comfort of having someone with me.

"Well I won't argue with that." Naya leaned back and kissed me.

Falling asleep, skin against skin, was always nice. I cuddled into her back and held her tight as we both drifted off to sleep.

I felt like it had only been minutes when my alarm went off on my phone. I reached for it and quickly shut it off. As I turned around I noticed that Naya wasn't in the bed. I sat up and put my bra on and wrapped myself in a sheet as I made my way out to the deck to find my dress.

"Good morning my lady." Naya smiled at me as I stepped outside. She was sitting at the bar sipping on some coffee.

"Good morning. I think." I said as my head was pounding.

"Let me get you some coffee. Your dress is over there." Naya pointed to the back of one of the patio chairs. Harry was passed out in the one next to it.

"Where are Kev and Chord?"

"Chord is in his bed and Kev headed to set about half hour ago." Naya said as she handed me a cup of coffee and I sat down next to her. We finished our coffee and made our way, groggily, to the set.

It was a long twelve hour day but we all made it through. Luckily I didn't have any scenes with anyone but Jane today so my headache wasn't too terrible. As I headed out to my car Lea ran up to me.

"Dianna," she yelled out.

I turned my head, "Hey Lee." I felt my body tense up with nerves. I didn't know how to act. I didn't know what to say.

"Hey, wanna get dinner?"

"Sure sounds good." I lied. It didn't sound good. I don't just want to pretend like nothing happened last night. This was killing me. I couldn't say no to her thought. I don't think I am capable of saying no to her. So I just smiled, "I'll drive."

We both got into the car and started heading to one of our favorite spots. We were pretty much sitting in silence and for the first time in my life I felt uncomfortable with her.

The rest of the car ride there was this way and when we sat down at the restaurant Lea looked at me with a very confused look on her face.

"So, I heard something at work today." Lea began as she took a sip of her water and pretended to look through her menu. I knew she was pretending because she always orders the same thing.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Kev, um, told me about you and Nay."

I started to panic. "What about us?"

"Well, he said that you two finally took your whole, whatever it is, to the next step."

Oh no. I just remembered that we never went out in the living room after he walked in on us. For all he knows we went through with it.

"Well he is mistaken."

"Oh, so he didn't walk in on you two naked in bed?" Lea said. She sounded angry.

"Well, yes, actually he did, but..."

"But what?" Lea snapped as she looked up at me.

"Wow, calm down. Yes, he did walk in on us but after he left we stopped. We both realized it wasn't something that we wanted to do. We don't want to hurt our friendship."

"Oh. Well I'm glad you two came to your senses."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I was starting to get upset.

"Just that, you know, you guys making out or whatever is all fun and games but sleeping together? I mean, come on, it's not like you two want to be together."

"What if we did? Would that be so bad?"

"No, of course not. I just mean you guys don't act like you have feelings for each other so why complicate things. Why are you getting so defensive?"

"I'm sorry. It's just...you don't know what its like. I've been alone for awhile now and it gets really hard sometimes. It's nice to have someone to relax with and talk to."

"Since when can't you do that with me?"

"Lee, you know what I mean. A person can have a million friends but there is always something missing when you're not in a relationship.. Naya and I just help each other fill that empty space in our lives. We can release some tension when we are with each other."

"So that's all it is? Just a way to release tension?"

"Yeah. It's nice to feel another persons touch occasionally. It's nice not always going to bed alone."

"I guess I'm just confused. It's like all of a sudden you two started kissing. And now...now you're naked in bed together...what's next?"

"I don't know. That's the other nice part about it. We don't plan anything. There is no pressure. We just have fun together. Besides, it's been happening for quite awhile now. Why are you freaking out all of a sudden?"

"I'm not. I'm not freaking out. I'm just curious. I just don't understand how two people can just randomly make out and...ya know...without ever feeling or discussing anything."

"Well, I'm sorry you don't understand but that is really all it is. We laugh, we talk, and occasionally we enjoy each others company in a more intimate way. It really isn't that complicated."

"Okay. I'm sorry." Lea set her menu down and began to stare out of the window.

"Don't be sorry. Hell, I'm just happy to see you. Twice in two days. I feel special."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"It means exactly what I just said. I'm happy to see you. I feel like that doesn't happen a lot lately."

"Di, I thought we talked about this already. I told you I was sorry about tour. Things were just confusing."

I practically slammed my menu down on the table, "That! That is what's bothering me. What was so confusing that you couldn't talk to me or hang out with me or laugh with me? You completely shut down. I remember one night on tour I reached out for you, squeezed your shoulder, just to get some sort of reaction from you. Nothing. And then a few nights later you're holding my hand again. And then nothing. Seriously? Talk about being confused. I didn't know what the hell was going on."

"I'm sorry." Lea looked down at the table.

I was about to yell because I was so frustrated. I am not the type to yell when I'm angry. I don't get angry very often but I'm assuming I just have too many emotions built up and unfortunately anger is the one arising now. Luckily our waiter came up.

We placed our orders and as the waiter walked away Lea looked up at me. Her eyes were shimmering. "I will talk to you about everything. I promise. Just not now. Not here."

"Okay, that's fine. I can respect that. It probably isn't smart to be talking about any of this." I replied as I looked around remembering that there were people everywhere. I'm sure tweets were already flooding in just because we are eating together.

"Probably not." Lea said as she ran her finger around the rim of her glass. "Can we just enjoy our meals? And please talk about anything else?"

"Of course." I replied. I took a deep breath and smiled at her. I don't want us to be fighting all of the time. Truthfully though I would fight all day if it meant I was with her. Eh, what am I saying. I would rather fight all day than be without her? Wow.

"So, do you know when you get to ditch the pink?" Lea laughed.

"Hopefully soon. It really just isn't growing on me. Besides, I miss dancing!"

"I bet. We miss you at rehearsals. It's so weird looking over and not seeing you."

"Yeah. I miss you guys too. I really wish I could have done the The Go-Go's with you! It looked like so much fun!"

"Yeah, it was a blast. Heather rocked it out!"

"I know! I was watching you guys! You all looked great!"

"Yeah just be happy you missed the food fight though. The smell was the worst thing I have ever experienced." We started laughing. This was nice. This was us. Like it used to be.

We were leaving the restaurant when Lea slipped her arm around mine and held my hand. I guess everything is good again. I was enjoying her hand in mine but if she thinks that I'm not going to bring up tour again she is mistaken. I have to know what is or was going on. Maybe I am making too big of deal about it but she is the one that keeps mentioning she was confused. I need to know.

"So, you want me to take you back to your car?"

"Um do you think I could crash with you tonight?" Lea asked quietly.

"Of course you can. You know you don't have to ask. You are always welcome at my place."

"Okay, thanks, I just don't want to be at home tonight."

"Why not?"

"Cory and I had a little fight today and he said we need some space. I told him to stay at the house and that I would just crash with you."

"Oh. Do you want to talk about anything?"

"Yeah...but not now. When we get to your place?"

"Sounds good." I squeezed her hand tighter. "Ya know, everything is going to be okay. No matter what you have to say...I already know...everything will be okay." I smiled at her.

She nodded, "yeah, I know."

We arrived at my house and after letting Arthur outside I came back in to feed him dinner. Lea was laying down on the couch playing with her phone.

"So, where are we having our watch parties this year?"

"Ooo, I haven't thought about that yet. Where are you thinking? Everyone loves it over here because you're pretty centralized and you always have the best snacks!"

I laughed, "well that's fine with me! I can't believe our third season will be airing soon. It's crazy to me. Did you ever think that we would go this long?" I said as Lea lifted her legs so I could sit at the end of the couch.

"I had always hoped so." She said as she repositioned herself so that her head was on my lap. There was a few minutes of silence as I began running my fingers through her hair.

"So, do you want to talk now." I asked quietly.

"Yeah..." Lea looked away from me.

"It's me honey. You can tell me anything."

"I don't know what to do."

"About what sweetie?"

"Cory." Eh, that was not what I wanted to hear.

"What about him?"

"He wants us to be committed. In fact he has been wanting it for a very long time. Since before tour. I keep putting it off."

"Why is that?"

"I don't know. I don't know why I wouldn't want to officially be with him. He is such an amazing man. I love him and care about him so much. He is extremely special to me and yet I can't do it. I can't say that I want to be with him...and only him."

"Well, maybe you just aren't ready for that yet."

"That's what is so confusing. I mean, why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. Sometimes things just don't feel right. It doesn't mean that you won't get there someday but you shouldn't force yourself into feeling something that isn't there."

"I know. It's just. It's so odd to me. I don't understand what is holding me back."

"I don't know honey."

"That's what was going on though. On tour. That's why I was so distant. Cory was already upset with me because I wouldn't commit and then the Achele thing just added to his frustration. I didn't want to make things worse."

"I understand that. I just wish you would have talked to me about it. I know you didn't want to lose him but it hurt to think that you were okay with losing me."

Lea sat up. "You, you honestly think that I would be okay with that?"

"I didn't know what to think."

Lea put her hand to the side of my face. "You listen to me. I could never, ever, lose you. You are the single most important person in my life Dianna. I could never be okay with losing you."

I felt my eyes swell up and I wasn't alone. Lea's eyes were glossed over too.

"I mean it. You are my world. I can't imagine life without you in it. I don't even like thinking about it. Please believe me when I say again that I never intended to hurt you. Ever." A single tear streamed down her face.

I brought my hand up and wiped her tear away. "I believe you Lea."

"Okay because I just...I can't..." She took a deep breath.

"What?"

"I can't lose you."

"Lea, you're never going to lose me." I said as she laid her head down on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. Her body felt like it went limp in my arms and she began to cry. She wasn't just sniffling she was crying really hard. I grabbed her shoulders and pulled her up. "Hey, honey what is it?"

She shook her head and tears were pouring down her face.

"Lea, sweetie, you have to talk to me. What is going on?"

"Its hard Di." Lea said as she wiped her face.

"What honey, what's hard?"

"Seeing you with her."

My heart felt like it stopped beating. "What? Seeing me with who?"

"Naya..." Lea looked up. We made eye contact and I had to tell myself to remember to breathe.


	3. Chapter 3

"It's hard to see me with Naya?" I asked confused. Lea stood up and started pacing around in front of the coffee table. "Lea, you can't say something like that and then just stop talking. What do you mean it's hard to see me with Naya?"

She wouldn't say anything. She just kept pacing and crying and staring at the ground. I stood up and walked over to her. I grabbed her shoulders and made her stop walking. "Lea, talk to me please!"

She shook her head and began sobbing harder.

"What do you mean? Because we're friends? Are you threatened by our friendship? You don't have to be. You are still my best friend."

She shook her head no, "No, it's not that."

"What is it then? I can't fix it if I don't know whats wrong." I wiped her face.

"You guys are more than friends..."

"We're not."

"Yes you are." She broke away from me and sat on the couch. "Friends don't...they don't make out...they don't kiss all the time...and they sure as hell don't..."

"Lea, I told you that nothing happened. Things started to get carried away, yes, but that...that did not happen!"

She put her head down in her lap. I sat on the coffee table in front of her. "Honey, you are going to have to help me understand what is going on here. Naya and I have been like this for a long time. Why is it bothering you so much now?"

"I know."

"Okay, so what gives? Why is this upsetting you so much?"

"I don't know! It never used to. I thought it was good that you had someone to have that affection with. And then it slowly started to bother me. It was like eating away at me, but I would just laugh. I wanted to just pretend like it was nothing. I didn't want you to be unhappy or lonely and I couldn't give you what she was giving you. I tried to make my peace with it...and then we kissed." Lea looked at me and those deep brown eyes felt like they were looking right through me.

"And..." Where was she going with this? I was beyond nervous at this point.

"And...I felt something." Before I could reply Lea stood up and started pacing again. She drives me crazy when she is like this.

"What did you feel?" I focused on the wall behind her. I had to keep myself from falling over. Could this actually be happening right now? I have been waiting for this for so long. No. There is no way she wants what I want.

"I don't know. I just felt something. Something more than I should be feeling for you. For my best friend." Lea stopped walking and stood in front of me. "I thought that you felt it too and when I went home that night I don't think I slept for a minute. I stopped myself from calling you a dozen times. I was dying to know if you felt what I felt. I never heard from you though. So, I decided that I was going to talk to you the next morning but when I got to work Kev told me what had happened...or what he thought had happened...between you and Naya and I just...I just...couldn't face you."

"Lea..." I felt a tear roll down my face. "I did. I did feel something. When I kissed you all of a sudden it just felt right. It was like why haven't we been doing this all along."

"Exactly, that's how I felt too."

"So, what does this mean?" I couldn't believe it! Was she actually feeling the way that I felt.

"I don't know..." Lea threw her hands up in the air. "I don't know. I mean there was so many things that go into it. Was it the alcohol? Was it that I was just jealous of Naya? Was it the fun of all of us hanging out? Was it..."

I didn't let her finish I grabbed her and kissed her. I had to find out for myself if this is real. If these feelings are what I think they are. I needed to know. I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her with more passion then I have ever kissed anyone. I felt her melt into me and she placed her hands around my neck. Our tongues touched and there was that feeling again. My entire body went numb and I knew this is what I wanted. This is where I belong. In her arms. Kissing her. Loving her.

I was the first one to pull back and I gazed into her eyes. Those warm beautiful eyes that I never fully appreciated until now. "I'm sorry Lea..I just had to..."

"Don't apologize." This time she grabbed me and kissed me again. I have never felt more alive than I do in this moment. Our kiss ended too soon and we made eye contact again.

"My god." Lea said as she shook her head and sat down.

I laughed and sat down across from her. "What?"

"That...that was..." Lea sighed.

"Amazing?"

"Better." Lea smiled.

We sat in silence for at least an hour. I would giggle quietly as Lea would occasionally run her fingers over her lips and sigh. My thinking of what was to come was stopped when I heard my phone ring. I hopped off of the couch and ran for my phone on the kitchen table. I looked down and smiled when I saw it was Kevin. He has some explaining to do about running that yappy little mouth of his.

"Hello."

"Hey girl hey," Kev said.

I laughed, "Hey blabber mouth."

"What? Don't be a hater."

"I'm not. I'm just curious as to why you thought it was necessary to run around telling everybody my business." I smirked. I loved giving him hell.

"I'm sorry Di! But in my defense you guys did not run out to stop me or tell me to be quiet. You were obviously content with what you were doing and you didn't feel the need to explain."

I decided I didn't want to get into it with him so I just laughed and asked, "So, whats up?"

"Well, I was calling to let you know that you're little bed buddy is having a get together tonight. She said it's just food and games. Nobody is up to drinking after last night. So what time can we expect you?"

"I...I don't know..." I replied as I looked over at Lea who dramatically had her face down in a pillow.

"What do you mean you don't know? Come on now! Nobody has to be on set until four o clock tomorrow remember? What could possibly be more entertaining than us and Pictureka?" He laughed.

"Nothing, I'm sure. Um, yeah...I'll be over just not sure what time, okay?"

"Okay, sounds good. Oh and have you heard from Lea? We can't get a hold of her."

"Yeah, actually, I'm sure she will be with me okay?"

"Alright babe see you later" Kev hung up and I walked back out to the living room.

"So are we going to talk about this or are you going to make out with the pillow instead?"

I heard Lea laugh that deep belly laugh of hers as she sat up on her knees. "I honestly don't know what to say Di."

"Well, that makes two of us." I said as I sat down on the couch next to her and placed my hand on her thigh. "You know, we don't have to figure this all out right now. We can just let it be and see what happens."

" I don't know. I'm not good at just letting things be," she smiled at me.

"I know. I know you're not. But, unless you have a solution I really don't know what else to say. This whole thing is very overwhelming." I had a solution. I wanted her. All of her. I wanted her to be with me and love me the way that I love her. I didn't want to bother her with all of my feelings right now. I don't want to scare her or overwhelm her even more. I don't want to take the chance of never being able to be with the only one that I want to be with just because I pushed.

"I know. I don't know what to make of all of this. I mean I felt things...strong things...when we kissed. But, you're my best friend. I love you...a lot. I just don't know what to do about it right now."

"You know what we do?"

Lea tilted her head and smiled that smile at me, "hmm?"

"We go to Naya's, who is OUR friend, and we play games with our other friends and laugh and relax. Maybe if we get out and clear our heads for a little while by the time we get back here tonight we can talk things out?"

"Sounds like a plan. I want to go get my car first though. I just don't want to leave it at the lot over night and I want to be to leave in the morning and stop by the house to change before heading to work."

After getting Lea's car from the set we headed over to Naya's. I'm glad we drove separate because it gave me a chance to try and clear my head. There are so many things we need to talk about. Is this something that we both want to pursue? Is she willing to stop seeing Cory? Oh man. Cory. How awkward would that be at work. Would it split our group up? I don't want to lose any of my friends. My mind was running a million miles a minute and I was relieved when we pulled into Naya's driveway.

We walked into the house to find Heather and Harry practicing some flips in the living room. Kev and Chord were sitting at the table flicking paper footballs at each other and Darren was laying on the couch messing with his phone.

"Ladies, so happy you could join us!" Darren said when he noticed us and walked over to kiss our cheeks.

"Hey guys!" Lea smiled as she walked out to the kitchen where Naya was standing over the stove. "Whatcha making?"

"Hey girl, just making up a few appetizers for this spectacular game night we are about to have!"

I took a seat at the table and immediately had two paper footballs thrown in my face. "Would you stop it and get me a drink!" I laughed and yelled at Kevin. "You owe me!"

Kevin started laughing, "Yeah, yeah...what do you want?"

"Just a water would be perfect love." I replied as I threw a football back at Chord.

Lea came over and sat down next to me. "One for me too please?" She said sweetly back to Kevin. We had both fixed ourselves up hoping none of our friends would notice we had been crying. She let her hand fall under the table and I felt the familiar warmth on my leg. She squeezed my thigh tightly and I placed my hand on top of hers.

"So, where's that boy of yours?" Naya asked Lea as she brought queso and chips to the table.

"Oh, um..." Lea pulled her hand away. "He is at home..I guess. I don't know we had a fight."

"Oh, I'm sorry hun." Naya replied. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Lea shook her head. "Yeah, totally. I think we just need a little time apart. We have been spending a lot of time together lately."

"Yeah, well that's good. I'm glad everything is okay." Naya smiled at her. "And how are you tonight?" Naya smiled and looked at me.

"I'm good." I said short and sweet because I noticed Lea started shaking her foot. She does that when she is anxious.

"Headache from hell?" Naya laughed.

"No, not too bad." I smiled.

"Well that's surprising! You were wasted last night girl!" Harry laughed from the living room. Heather ran over when she noticed the food on the table and sat on Naya's lap to get a closer seat.

"Yeah...I know."

"No like, seriously Di, you were so drunk." Chord laughed.

"Damn, sounds like I missed a good night!" Darren laughed as he pulled a chair to the table.

"Oh yeah," Kevin said, "and the best part was Dianna and Naya graduated from make out buddies to hump buddies!"

"WHAT?" Heather smiled and shrieked as she flew off of Naya's lap.

"Oh god." Naya put her head in her hands.

"OH yeah." Kevin laughed. "They are officially friends with benefits!" Everyone started laughing. Everyone except Lea.

"I've got to make a phone call really quick." Lea said as she stood up.

I stood up and grabbed her arm, "Don't go. Are you okay?" I whispered.

"Yeah," Lea noticed everyone was staring at us. "I'm fine," she smiled, "I promise. I just remembered I have a phone call to make. Be back in a minute."

"Okay" I smiled at her and watched her walk outside. "Well now that we all learned Kevin can't keep his mouth shut!" I laughed.

"Hey, I'm not the one all nekkid with my friend."

"Seriously? Naked? Oh my god. I'm going to have a heart attack!" Heather laughed.

"Well of course they were naked. They were getting all freaky." Kevin laughed.

"We were not!" Naya chimed in. "Well...I was trying to get my mack on but you just had to bust in and ruin it."

"So... you were actually doing it?" Chord said bug eyed.

"No, as I just said, I was trying to but B over here just had to barge in and kill the mood."

Kevin looked shocked. "Oh, damn guys I'm sorry. When you guys never came back out I figured you were like doing it all night." He chuckled.

"No, sadly," Naya smiled at me, "sweet cheeks and I never got it going again. And now, I may never now what it would feel like to be all up on that." Naya winked at me.

"Oh yes you can!" Heather squealed. "Go! Go do it!"

Naya started laughing, "Are you crazy?"

"Yeah, DO IT DO IT!" Heather started jumping up and down. I could only sit there and laugh. My friends are insane.

"DO IT! DO IT!" Now they were all chanting like we were in eight grade playing spin the bottle or something.

"Really guys?" I laughed.

Naya stood up and walked all "Santana" like over to me. "Can you believe these guys?" She straddled me. "I mean...they are all a bunch of big talkers but I know if I started putting the moves on you they wouldn't know what to do."

"We'd be too busy drooling!" Heather smiled. Everyone started laughing and I just shook my head.

"What do ya say Agron? Wanna make our friends speechless...for once!" Naya laughed.

"I..." Before I could get any more out Naya kissed me. I panicked in my head. I didn't want this. Not now. I was reaching up to pull her away when I heard the front door slam.

"Oh, I guess I missed something." I heard Lea's voice, trembling.

I quickly pulled Naya off of me and stood up. "No, you didn't. Everyone was just being silly." I walked over to her. "I am so sorry." I whispered.

"It's...okay. I think I need to go."

"Please don't."

"I'm sorry Di." Lea said as she turned around and walked out.

I felt my heart sink into my stomach.

"Everything okay? What happened?" I heard Heather ask.

I just stood there staring at the door and watched Lea drive away. I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Di, I am so sorry." Naya said. I didn't even have to tell her what happened. She already knew.

Naya and I migrated our way out to her patio as the others sat inside playing games. Nobody questioned anymore about what was going on. They all knew they would find out eventually and I think they could sense that I wasn't in the mood to explain.

"So, did you guys talk about everything?" Naya asked.

"Well, not really, but we kissed again."

"Oh yeah? How was that?"

"Just as amazing as it was the first time." I replied.

"And what did Lea have to say?"

"Not much. She said it was amazing too. She said she was having feelings about me that were confusing. And that was it. That was all that was said."

"How could you guys just leave it at that?"

"I don't know. I didn't want to rush her. I know how I feel, at least most of the time I do, but I don't want to push her into anything or scare her away. We decided to come hang out over here and relax. We wanted to try to clear our minds and then talk when we got back to my place tonight."

"Shit. I am so sorry Di. I had no idea. I was just goofing around in there. If I had known I would have never..."

"It's okay Nay. You had no way of knowing. Don't worry about it."

"Well. Still." Naya paused. "So, what are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking...I want to be with her. I'm thinking that I have wanted to be with her for a long time. I'm thinking how angry I am that I didn't realize it before she got with Cory. And I'm thinking...that I ...I might be in love with her." I felt a smile force its way onto my face.

Naya was grinning ear to ear, "okay, then I just have one more question..." I looked over at her. "Why are you sitting here with me?"

Oh my god. She was right. Who knows where Lea is. What is she thinking? Is she crying? Did I hurt her? Of course I hurt her. Why am I not chasing after her? I jumped up and started to run towards the front yard to get into my car. "Thanks Nay!" I called out. I opened the gate and started running down the driveway when I looked up to see Lea standing at my car. I stopped running and stared at her. She had been crying again.

"Hi..." She said quietly. I walked up to her and stopped right in front of her.

"Hi..." I replied. "Look about what happened in there..."

"Don't." Lea looked at me. "You don't have to explain. I have no right getting upset about that."

"But, you do. After what happened tonight between us. You do."

"Well, I don't though. We haven't decided anything. I mean we don't even know what we want."

"But I do." I replied. "I do know what I want." I decided to take a chance. I figure her waiting for me at my car was a sign. It was time to step up and take the risk. No more playing it safe.

"What is that?" Lea looked down.

"I want you Lea." Her head shot up and she made eye contact with me. Wow, those eyes. "I want to be with you. I don't just want to be your friend. Not anymore. I want so much more than that."

"How long have you felt like that?"

"I don't really know. If I really stop and think about it I think I have wanted it for a long time. I think I confused the love I had for you. I told myself that I loved you just like I love all of my friends. That's not the case though. It's different with you. You're different. The way that I love you, the way that you make me feel, it's different."

Lea just stood there. She didn't say anything. She continued to stare at me. It was like she was trying to read my mind.

"Say something Lea..."

"I don't know what to say." She replied finally breaking eye contact and looking towards the house. "I mean two days ago you were just my friend. I knew in my head that you were just my friend. I knew that no matter what I felt sometimes that we were just friends. And now...now...you're telling me that you love me...that you want to be with me...and I just I don't know what to say."

"Well, you can start by telling me how you feel."

Lea took a deep breath. "I feel...very...confused."

That was not what I wanted to hear. I don't want to push her though. This was all happening very fast.

"I love you Dianna, you know that. I love you so much. And the way I felt when I kissed you...I...I just can't even describe how amazing I feel when we kiss. But," Lea looked down.

"But what?"

"But there's so many things that I need to figure out. I need to figure out what this all means to me. I need to figure out what I want to do. I've been so confused for so long."

"Is that what you were talking about on tour? We're you confused about us?"

Lea nodded. "I was. I didn't know how to tell you. The first time you and Naya made out it didn't bother me. We were all so drunk but then when we were on tour and sober and you guys continued to make out...a lot...I started getting really upset about it. I remember going back to the bus one night furious and not knowing why. That's why Cory and I started fighting. He asked me why I was so angry over you two kissing and I couldn't answer him. I didn't know at first. I just knew that a part of me was hurting every time I saw you with her. It was all so confusing. Hell, it still is."

I took a deep breath. This was a lot to take in. Talk about being confused. I just found out that the girl I am in love with, wow that's crazy to say, has had feelings for me, of some kind, for months now.

"Okay, now it's your turn to say something." Lea said quietly.

"I want you to take your time. I want you to figure out what you want."

"I don't know how long that will take. That is not fair to you."

"No, being completely ruled out without you thinking things through...that would be unfair to me. I don't care how long it takes. I just need to know that there is a possibility you could love me, the way that I love you." I replied as I kissed her forehead.

Another tear rolled down Lea's cheek and her eyes were closed as I stood back. I let her sit there for a moment. I just held her hand. I was willing to wait. I was willing to do anything except give up on us.

"Okay..." I sighed after a few minutes and stood next to her. "So, do you want to go back in there?"

"No, I am just so exhausted. Can we go back to your place?"

"Of course." I replied. "You still have your key right?" Lea nodded. "Okay, then head on back I will go tell everybody bye and I will be there soon."

Lea smiled at me and got into her car as I headed back inside. When I walked through the door Naya looked up.

"Hey," she said with a very confused look on her face.

"Hey guys, sorry but Lea and I are going to bail. She is having a rough night and we are just going to go relax."

"Aww, okay." Heather said as she ran up and hugged me. "Have fun! See you tomorrow"

Naya walked up and hugged me, "Are you okay?" she whispered in my ear.

I nodded, "I will text you later okay?"

Naya smiled at me and I headed back to my car.

I walked in the house to see Lea cuddled on the couch with Arthur. She was laying in a pair of my boxers and one of my tank tops. Those legs. This was going to be challenging. It was one thing when she was in her skirts, shorts, and little dresses around me when I had to hide how I felt about her or when I could be affectionate without her thinking anything of it, but now. Now, I'm going to have to remember that she is confused and worried about things and watching drool all over her is probably not the best idea. Then again, this is Lea, she usually loves people drooling all over her.

"Hey," she smiled and sat up.

"Hey," I said as I sat down on the couch next to her tossing my keys and phone on the coffee table.

"What did you tell the guys?"

"Oh, I just said we were going to relax. Nobody thought twice about it."

"Okay, good."

"So, what do you want to do?"

"I don't care."

"Hmmm, well, I don't either but here," I said as I threw a blanket over her legs.

Lea laughed, "What did you do that for?"

"Because, if I keep looking at those legs...I'm going to jump on you."

Lea started laughing harder. "Oh really?"

"Yes. So you just stay under that blanket okay?"

Lea nodded. "Have you always liked my legs?"

I looked up to see her grinning at me. "Well, I've always thought you were gorgeous, you know that, but I'm definitely appreciating your body more now."

"It's so odd isn't it? I mean how quickly feelings can change. I remember that I too always thought you were just stunning but I never looked at you and found myself wanting to be with you...you know like that...even on tour when I was confused. I didn't know why I was angry over you two. I never thought about another woman the way I have been thinking about you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I mean I have always thought women were attractive and such but I never pictured myself actually wanting to be sexual with another woman. Then when I would see you two together I would start to imagine you with me. When I realized that it wasn't going to happen I became so angry. And jealous. Oh my, so jealous." Lea laughed.

I had to admit this was boosting my ego a little bit. "Jealous? Lea Michele, jealous? I find that hard to believe."

"It's true. I would see you looking at her and touching her...in ways that you had never touched me before...and it killed me. I wondered what was wrong with me that you didn't want those things with me."

"Oh Lea. Honey, I had no idea it was something that you would have wanted. Naya made the move on me babe. I just went with it. I only went with it because I thought there was no way I was ever going to be able to be with you. You have to believe me though when I say that yes, Naya is gorgeous and the things we did together were amazing..." Lea rolled her eyes. "BUT, I never felt with her what I feel with you. With her it was just fun. With you," I paused. I didn't want to push things. "It's just different."

"Good different?"

"Incredible different." I smiled at her. "You know whats funny. Naya told me that she has thought there was more feelings between us than we had let on. She said that when she watches us together we look like we are in love."

"That's what Cory said."

"And the fans have been saying it for a long time."

"I know. It's like they all saw something that we didn't see."

"Yeah. It's like we were blind about it but apparently it was so obvious to everyone else." I replied as I watched her twirl our ring around her finger.

"I mean, in my head, we were just really close. We held hands, we hugged, but we were best friends. I didn't see what the big deal was when people would go on and on with their assumptions about us being in love with each other. Now, though, I'm just thinking we were the ones living in a fantasy world. Have we had these feelings for a long time and just didn't realize it?"

"Or maybe we just didn't want to. It's safer to just be friends. It's safer to just blame the affection, the love, the relationship on just being really good friends."

"Yeah, that's true." Lea reached over and took my hand into hers. "I mean it is a lot safer to just pretend like nothing ever happened. Push our feelings to the side and continue just being friends."

"I know. Safe is good. I don't want things to get messy. I don't want to lose anybody. I can't handle the thought of something happening between us to ruin our friendship. There are huge risks involved with us figuring out what we want."

"I know. Huge risks." Lea leaned her head back on the back of the couch.

"So, maybe we should just forget about all of this. Our feelings. Just go back to how we used to be. Just play it safe." I wanted to test her. I wanted to see how she reacted when I said things like this.

Lea turned her face towards mine. "I don't want to play it safe anymore Di."


	4. Chapter 4

Before I could even process what she had just said she had leaned in and kissed me again. I felt her hair fall around my face. My god she smells so good. I reached my hand out and ran my fingers through her hair resting it behind her ear. I wish there were words to describe her lips. Plump, full, soft... none of those words do her lips justice. She was kissing me with more passion than before. The kiss was eager, needy, a little forceful. I felt her get onto her knees, tossing the blanket on the ground, and she cupped my face as we fell backwards.

Lea's gorgeous body was now firmly placed on top of mine, her legs in between mine, as she continued to kiss me with such confidence. My hands trailed down her back and rested on her hips as she shifted her kisses from my mouth to my neck. My head went back on instinct and I let out a sigh. I felt goosebumps covering my body.

She brought her mouth back to mine. She must be able to read my mind because ever since she took them away I have been craving them back. Our tongues danced together as I felt her hand slide up my rib cage and onto my breast. This is when I realized she had made it up my shirt. I was so focused on our kissing that I hadn't even noticed. I felt her cup my breast in her hand as she straddled me and squeezed her thighs tight around mine.

I can't believe I am about to stop this. "Lea," I whispered out of breath as I pulled away from her. "We have to stop." I didn't want to stop. I wanted to feel her. I wanted to make love to her. I can't do that though. I can't complicate things. Not right now.

She sat up on her knees, still straddling my thigh, and looked down at me with sad eyes. "Oh...okay..."

"Please don't get upset I just don't think we should do this right now. Not yet."

Lea stood up and walked away. I heard the bathroom door click shut. Damn. I stood up and followed after her. "Lea, are you okay?"

"Mhm." I heard faintly.

I didn't push her to talk. I walked back into the living room and sat down. I knew she was upset. I knew I was the one who just made her upset...again. If I keep upsetting her I'm just going to push her back into Cory's arms but I couldn't handle the thought of finally making love to her and then watching her be with him.

"I will see you on set tomorrow." Lea said sharply as I noticed she was dressed again and grabbing her keys and phone from the kitchen table.

"Lea, don't leave." I stood up and walked over to her.

"I think it's for the best." Lea said trembling. She didn't want to leave. I didn't want her to leave.

"Why? I'm sorry that I upset you but do you really think that it's smart right now for us to do that? I mean, you have so much you have to work out and I don't think throwing that into the mix would be good for anybody."

"You don't understand Dianna."

"Well, I can't if you don't talk to me. You can't just leave every time something upsets you. You have to talk to me."

"I was rejected. Again. I've been rejected by you for months and it hurts."

"That's not fair Lea. It's not fair to say I have been rejecting you. I didn't know that you wanted to be with me. You still don't know that you want to be with me. I can't love you, the way that I want to love you, if you are not sure you want to love me in return."

Lea stood there for a minute. She shook her head and sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry. I just got carried away."

"Don't be sorry. It's understandable. I just want you to realize that I would be with you, in every way, if I knew for certain that you wanted to be with me too."

"I know." Lea smiled. "I'm trying. I'm going to try my best to figure this all out. I still think I should go home though. I'm going to tell Cory that he needs to move back into his own place and I am going to just work this all out."

"Okay, if that's what you need. Just remember that I am here for you any time. Call, text, come over, anything I am here."

"I know Di." Lea smiled and hugged me tight. I didn't want to let her go. I wish I could make her see that we belong together. As soon as the hug started it ended and I watched her walk to the door. She grabbed the handle and then turned around and smiled at me. "I love you. You know that, right?" she said sweetly.

"I know." I replied. "I love you too." And with that she left.

The next day on set I was sitting in my trailer having lunch when someone knocked on the door. I became overwhelmingly excited hoping that it was Lea coming to confess her love for me. I laughed in my head, yeah right. It had only been fifteen hours.

"Come in," I said still hoping it was Lea.

"Hey girl," Naya said as she walked in smiling. "You never did text last night. Everything okay?" she asked as she grabbed a grape from my plate and sat down.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Everything is...okay...I guess." I sighed and poked at the fruit on my plate.

"That doesn't sound very convincing."

"I know," I laughed. "Lea is taking some time to think. She said that she is confused and needs to work it all out."

"Did you tell her how you feel?"

"Yeah, I told her that I wanted to be with her."

"Wow, that's huge Di!" Naya smiled that thousand watt smile.

"Yeah, she said that she was telling Cory she needed some space and that he needed to move back to his own place."

"Was she planning on telling him about you guys?" Naya asked as she grabbed a piece of pineapple. I'm glad someone was enjoying my lunch.

"I don't know. God, I didn't even think about that." Eh, I set my plate down. "What if he hates me? I mean, it's not like I planned this."

"He won't hate you." Naya said as she scoot closer to me and rubbed my back. "Everything will work out the way that it's supposed to."

I smiled at her. "Thanks for being here for me Nay, I really appreciate it."

"Always." Naya smiled at me. "So, I guess now that you know how you feel about Lea our little fun times are over huh?"

I smirked. "Yeah, it's probably for the best."

Naya nodded. "Damn, I'm going to miss that."

"Me too honey." I smiled back at her.

"Okay, well I have to get back on set. You hang in there okay?" Naya gave me a peck on the cheek and grabbed another grape.

"I will. Thanks again." I smiled warmly at her.

I was in the auditorium for the next scene. Quinn was sitting with Puck getting ready to watch Rachel and Mercedes have a battle over playing Maria. I was nervous to see Lea. We hadn't seen each other all day and I haven't heard from her. We watched Amber perform and then I took a deep breath as Lea made her way on stage. She looked stunning. She began singing, "Out here on my own." It was emotional for me to watch her sing this.

"Baby be strong for me," she sang. _I will be Lea. I will be strong for you. I will do anything you want me to. _

"Baby belong to me," she continued. _I'm yours. Only yours. Just say the words._

She finished the performance and I had to remind myself that we were filming and I cannot run up and hug her crying. I stood up slowly and clapped my hands. Lea looks at me. We make eye contact for a brief second. I felt my heart stop.

We were done shooting for the day and everyone was heading out to dinner. I had debated on going but Naya reminded me that hiding away and worrying wasn't going to help. She was right. I walked into the restaurant to see Amber, Jenna, Darren, and Naya already cozy in a booth with full glasses of wine. I took my place next to Naya as the waitress filled my glass.

"Hello there gorgeous," Naya said as she smiled at me. "I'm glad you decided to come out."

"Me too," I smiled.

We all began examining our menus when I heard Darren, "There she is!" I looked up. There was Lea. I took a deep breath and smiled up at her. She slid into the booth across from me as Amber and Jenna scoot towards Darren.

"Hello everyone," Lea smiled. We made eye contact as she looked down and picked up a menu.

"Hey," I said quietly. "How are you today?"

She glanced at me over the top of her menu. "I'm...okay...how are you?"

"I'm alright." I said back and noticed that an eerie silence had fallen over the table. I nudged Naya. She knew what I wanted.

"So, how about this fall weather we're having?" Naya said quickly. Really Nay, weather? I laughed in my head. It worked though, the group all began talking about scarves and candles and Halloween costumes. I made eye contact with Naya and mouthed thank you.

The group continued to talk about awesome Halloween ideas as Lea and I sat in silence. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I looked down at the text message: "You look gorgeous tonight." I felt a smile creep onto my face and looked up at Lea who was also smiling sweetly. "Thanks beautiful. I miss you..." I text back.

It felt like hours before my phone lit up again. "Bathroom?"

I looked up as Lea was standing up, "Excuse me ladies and gents, I have to use the little girls room."

"I'll come with you." I replied. I looked back at the table, nobody had noticed, except Nay who was grinning.

We walked into the bathroom and luckily nobody was in there. Before the door shut all the way Lea grabbed me and hugged me tight. She whispered in my ear, "I miss you so much." Goosebumps. "I wanted to talk to you at work today but I didn't know how."

I continued holding her. "It's me Lea. You can always tell me anything."

Our hug broke and I felt empty again. "I know. It's just I haven't made any progress with my feelings and I don't know how to be around you right now."

I looked at her confused.

"That probably didn't sound right." Lea walked over to the mirror and began messing with her hair. _Don't worry you're stunning._ "I just mean that when I am around you I want to be touching you, kissing you, and I know I can't do that right now." We made eye contact in the mirror.

The door opened and a woman walked in. Lea and I knew it was time to go back to the group.

The rest of the dinner went smoothly as we all laughed and talked about what was to come this season. I climbed into my car and a few minutes later there was a tap on my window. I jumped and looked over at Lea.

I rolled my window down. "Goodness, you scared me!"

"I'm sorry! Can we talk?"

"Of course, get in." Lea walked around and climbed into the passenger side.

"Well, I wanted to let you know that when I talked to Cory last night I didn't mention us. I just told him that I needed some space and time to think before I made any decisions about him and I."

"How did he take that?"

"Okay. He didn't say much. He just told me that he has felt like I had been slipping away from him for awhile now. When he left he reminded me that he wouldn't always be available and that I need to make a decision."

I shook my head. I'm not surprised.

"It's funny ya know. I have someone pressuring me saying they need an answer and then there's you." Lea looked into my eyes. "Sweet, wonderful, amazing you telling me that you will wait forever. That should be my answer right there huh?" Lea sighed. I knew this was eating her up.

"No, there's more involved than that." I said. I really wanted to grab her and kiss her again and prove to her that I am the one that she should be with but I can't.

"Yeah, I know." Lea looked at me. "Thank you."

"For what?" I said a little surprised.

"For being so patient."

"It's only been a day honey." I laughed. "Besides anything in life that is good is worth waiting for."

It had been a little over a week and I had hardly spoke to Lea. I would occasionally get a "Miss you" text from her or a soft smile on set but we hadn't talked much. I was respecting her space. Today as I was headed to make up I saw Lea sitting on Cory's lap. Giggling, hugging, and then he kissed her. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I was staring off into space when Naya walked in and grabbed my arm.

"I am so sorry Di." Naya said. "I can't believe she is doing this."

I looked at Naya confused. She couldn't be referring to the kiss I just saw. It was devastating for me but I don't think Nay would be reacting this crazy about it. "What is she doing?"

"She didn't tell you yet?" Naya sighed. "Eh, well, her and Cory are going away together this weekend. They are leaving tonight when we are done filming."

Ouch. That one hurts. "Oh."

"Yeah, Cory is like running around bragging about it. He was telling Chord that he thinks this is just what Lea needs. He is convinced if they get away then she will be all head over heels and ready to commit."

I felt my eyes fill with tears. What if he's right? What if that's all it takes? What if I lose her before I even have her? I didn't want to deal with this. Not now. Not at work.

"I'm sorry Di..." Naya said as we heard our page go off. We were all needed on set. I took a deep breath and smiled at her. I had to pull myself together.

I made it through my last scene of the day and was walking towards my trailer when Heather ran up to me.

"Dianna!" Heather said sweetly. "How would you like to have a party tonight? Everyone is going!"

"Sounds perfect! Where?" I replied. I had to get my mind off of this. Ever since Naya told me that they were going away together I haven't been able to stop thinking about them. I needed to clear my head.

"Chords. He wants to have another bon fire. We are all heading over around 9ish." Heather said as Jenna started yelling for her.

"Okay hun, sounds great I will see you there." I smiled sweetly at her and watched her bounce off to catch up with Jenna and Chris.

I walked into my trailer to gather my things for the weekend and started heading towards my car. I saw Lea and Cory walking, hand in hand, towards the parking lot. I couldn't keep my eyes off of them and I guess Lea felt me watching her. She stopped and I watched her tell Cory something and then she began running back towards me.

"Di, hey I need to talk to you about something."

I kept walking, "Whats up?"

"I wanted to tell you that um...Cory and I...we are..."

"You're going away for the weekend. I know." I snapped back. I didn't want to be angry at her. I'm the one that told her to figure things out. I can't help it though. I was hurt. Angry. Furious.

Lea stopped and grabbed my arm. "Please don't be angry."

"How can I not be Lea? You say that you can't be around me while you are working things out because it's too hard but you can go away with him? It hurts."

"I'm...I'm sorry Dianna. Cory said that we need this. He says it will be good for us."

"And do you always do everything that Cory says?" I glared at her. I watched her face sadden and I knew I needed to stop. Becoming defensive and angry wasn't going to solve anything.

"No, I don't. But, I just think I owe him this. We have been dating for a long time now Dianna and I can't just suddenly tell him I'm done. That's not fair."

I nodded. "Okay, well I hope you can figure things out."

"I do too." Lea smiled at me and walked towards Cory. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I cried the long walk to my car. I caught a glimpse of myself in my rear view mirror as I climbed in. The image staring back at me was anything but attractive. I need a drink.

* * *

When I arrived at Chords I heard music and laughing from the backyard. I walked to the bar and poured myself a drink. A strong drink. I admired my friends dancing, singing, and drinking around the fire. My eyes immediately went to Naya. She was sitting in a lawn chair with a gray hoodie and jeans and those amazing thigh high leather boots on. I watched her for a few minutes. She really is gorgeous. My thoughts started to wander and after refilling and drinking a second shot I took a deep breath and I walked to straight to her. She looked up and saw me and smiled big as I leaned down and kissed her. I could tell that I caught her off guard but after a moment she parted her lips and my tongue entered her mouth.

I don't know what has come over me. I'm hurt. I'm upset. Hell, I'm horny. All I could think about was Lea laying in bed with Cory and I kissed Naya harder. She didn't resist. She kissed back. I listened to the others "oo" and giggle as Naya stood up and wrapped her arms around my neck.

What am I doing? How would Lea feel if she knew this was happening? She would be crushed. Why should I care? For all I know she is doing the exact same thing with Cory right now. Fuck it.

I picked Naya up by her ass and she wrapped her legs around my waist as I carried her away from everyone else. I made it to the patio and laid her down on one of the patio chairs. I broke our kiss long enough to climb over her and as I straddled her hips Naya's hands grabbed my face and brought my mouth back to hers. We continued kissing. Hands were roaming everywhere. I became lost in her smell. The way she felt beneath me. The way her tongue felt on mine. As I began kissing down her face and onto her neck I heard Naya moan.

"Di, let's go inside." Naya whispered.

"Mm...okay..." I said back as I grabbed her hand and helped her off of the chair. As we walked into the house, arms locked, Naya looked up at me.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Naya asked. "I'm giving you fair warning that if we get into that bedroom I'm not going to be able to pull myself off of you."

"I'm positive." I replied. I was. At this point I was completely ready to make love to Naya. I was ready to feel needed. I was ready to feel anything but heartache.

We walked into the room and I sat on the edge of the bed. Naya locked the door this time and walked over to me.

She lifted her hoodie off revealing that unbelievably toned body of hers in a white tank top. "Dianna, please be sure. I know what you are going through right now and I don't want to feel like I took advantage of the situation."

I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her on top of me. We both fell backwards on the bed. Our lips were practically touching when I whispered to her, "I want you Naya." That was all it took. She kissed me, hard. We continued to kiss as Naya wrapped her legs around my hips and pulled her tank top off. There they were again. Those perfect breasts. I didn't waste a second before I sat up and took her nipple into my mouth. I heard a small moan as her fingers found their way to my hair. With one hand I was holding her hips and the other was lightly pinching her left nipple as my tongue continued to dance on her right.

Naya moaned again and then pushed me softly back onto my back and started unbuttoning my blouse. One by one a button was opened and I was slowly becoming exposed. She welcomed every inch of my chest and stomach with a small kiss lightly touching her tongue to my skin. When she arrived to my jeans she repeated the steps she took with my blouse. She undid the button and kissed me slowly. With that, I let out a moan. She looked up at me and we made eye contact in the moonlight. She then unzipped my jeans and slipped my shoes off. I sat up on my elbows and admired her as she started pulling my pants off of my body. There was no stopping now.

She threw my jeans across the room and began kissing up my legs. Ankles...calves...mmm...thighs...and as she looked up at me I slowly spread my legs open. My pussy was covered in baby blue lace and I gasped and fell back as I felt her lips kiss over the fabric.

"Damn baby..." Naya whispered. "You do want me huh?"

I'm sure she saw, smelled, taste that I was more than ready for her. "Yes, I told you. I want you Naya."

"Mmm..." I heard her reply as she pulled my panties down. I couldn't believe this was happening. I couldn't help it. I was beyond the point of arousal. I physically needed her. I need relief. My thoughts were stopped when I felt her mouth over my clit. My body reacted before my mind could catch up. My god this girl was talented.

It didn't take long for my orgasm to come along and I started to recover when I felt Naya slip two fingers into me.

"Oh god Nay..." I moaned out. She sat up as she slowly pumped in and out of me and kissed up my stomach. I sat up on my elbows again to meet her mouth. I could taste myself on her lips and it only enhanced everything I was feeling.

"Mm...Dianna...you are so sexy..." Naya moaned as she slid another finger into my eager pussy. At this point she had her hand around the back of my neck and was leaning down sucking on my nipples. She didn't even bother to take my bra off. She just sucked and nipped at them through the lace. I began rocking my hips into her hand slowly and soon I was gripping the sheets and I felt my entire body tense up. She brought her lips back to mine and didn't stop kissing me.

I fell back on to the bed as she fell on top of me. Her fingers were resting inside of me as she kissed me softly. We made eye contact and she smiled affectionately at me. We laid there for a few moments until she slowly pulled out. I wanted to grab her hand and put it back where it belongs, but I just wrapped my arms around her and kissed her.

"Naya, that was...incredible." I sighed. She held me tight. I rolled over on top of her and giggled as I noticed she was still wearing her boots. Those boots. So sexy. I kissed her again and then made my way down to the zippers. One by one I pulled her boots off and then made my way to her jeans. Unbuttoning slowly as I planted kisses on her stomach.

Before I even pulled her jeans off I could smell her. The thought of her being turned on by me was all the assurance I needed that this was right. It just felt right. For a split second Lea popped into my head...then, I saw Naya's black thong and melted. I kissed her thighs as I traced along the edges of the very thin material that separated me from what I wanted most in this moment. I looked up to see her back slightly arching and her biting her lip and I couldn't wait anymore. I pulled the material to the side and licked her sensitive clit lightly. I heard her moan. I had her thong wrapped in my hand keeping it away from her glistening pussy as my tongue became faster against her.

"Ohhh...Dianna..." I heard Naya moan. "God, it feels so good."

I couldn't get enough of the way she taste in my mouth. I needed more. I pulled her thong at the corner until I heard it start to rip. I heard Naya gasp and I looked up to see her looking down at me. We made eye contact as her thong split into two pieces and I removed it. Naya smiled a smile I have never seen before and it told me that I was doing everything right.

My hands were gripping her hips and her hands had found their way to my head. She was gripping the back of my head firmly as I licked and sucked and brought her closer to the edge. I could feel her thighs start to tighten around me and I knew she was ready so I brought my tongue down and dove into her hot, tight, pussy. She began rocking her hips into me, hard, and moaning my name over and over again. I quickly went back to her clit as my fingers took the place inside of her. I felt everything tighten and then her hands fell from my head and I heard her breathing hard.

I laid between her legs for a few moments longer and then climbed back up next to her. We kissed and then I fell on my beside her. I was relieved. I was relaxed. I was satisfied.

"Okay..." Naya said still trying to catch her breath. "Why...god...why did we wait so long to do that?"

I giggled. "I don't know babe." I leaned up on one elbow and admired her. Her gorgeous black hair was messily around her face and those deep eyes were still full of passion.

"Wow. I still. I just...can't... even..." Naya laughed. "You're amazing!" She kissed me again.

"Right back at ya gorgeous."

* * *

After a few moments we decided to get dressed and join the gang back out by the fire.

I handed her hoodie to her and she laughed. "Are you nuts? I'm on fire." Naya laughed.

I smiled back at her and started walking outside.

We stopped at the bar for another drink and then walked holding hands back to the fire. I was placing small kisses on her bare shoulders and she was looking up at me smiling and laughing. I started to hear our friends cheering as we walked closer to the fire.

I heard Kevin yell, "I didn't mess up your game tonight Nay!"

"Oh snap! Ha! They did it! They finally did it!" I heard Heather laughing.

I was laughing with them until I looked through the flames. Sitting across the fire, eyes wide and staring at me, was Lea.


	5. Chapter 5

I opened my eyes. The sunlight hurts. I was lying in my own bed. I was covered in sweat. Eyes swollen. Was it just a dream? Please, say it was just a dream. It couldn't have been a dream. It was so vivid, so detailed, so real. What happened?

I stood up and felt instant pain. My head is pounding and I'm horribly dizzy. I hear someone out in my kitchen and turn the corner to see Naya. I was worried again.

"Well good morning sunshine." Naya said cheerfully.

"Wh-what happened last night?" I asked as I slowly sat on the couch.

"You don't remember anything?" Naya asked as she handed me a cup of coffee.

"Please, just, what happened?"

"Girl, you showed up at Chord's last night and before any of us even noticed you were there you were so drunk. I guess you were just sitting at the bar pouring yourself drinks. Luckily for you I hadn't had anything to drink yet so with the help of Harry I carried your ass to my car and brought you home."

"So...we didn't..." I looked down.

"What?" Naya asked with a confused look on her face.

"We didn't...have...sex?"

Naya practically spit out her coffee. "What? Oh honey, no! You couldn't even WALK Di, there was no way you were doing anything else. Besides, I know how much Lea means to you and I would never let you do anything that could hurt that relationship."

"Thank you," I felt like I was going to cry. I was relieved. That dream...or nightmare rather...was so real. I thought for sure I had ruined everything. I was also embarrassed. I can't believe I let myself drink like that.

"Di, speaking of Lea, you have to get this stuff worked out. It was too hard to see you last night. By the time I got you home you were crying and calling out for Lea over and over again. I finally got you out of your clothes and into bed but it took you so long to fall asleep. You wouldn't stop crying no matter what I said or did. It was pretty devastating."

I sighed. The tears started pouring down my face.

"Oh my...Di...are you okay?" Naya walked over to me and put her arm around me.

I shook my head no. I'm not okay. Lea is with him and I'm not okay. I'm so not okay that I actually pictured myself sleeping with another woman. This whole situation is not okay.

"I told her that she could take her time. I told her that I could wait. But..." I was sobbing at this point, "I don't think that I can. Knowing now that there is a chance she could love me back and then knowing that she is with him...I can't..."

"Shh..." Naya whispered as she hugged me tight. I laid in her arms and continued to sob. I never expected it to hurt this much.

"I just wish I could go back to when she didn't know that I had feelings for her. It was easier that way." I cried. This hurt too much.

"I know, Di. I'm so sorry. I'm also sorry that I dared her to kiss you that night. I just thought that I could force her feelings out that way. I know she loves you. I know she does."

* * *

I had managed to get into the shower after three cups of coffee. I let the water pour down on me and soon my tears joined in. I can't remember a time in my life where I have ever cried as much or as often as I have been.

I can't believe I let myself drink as much as I did. I have never been that intoxicated that I don't remember what happened. I'm glad I was with friends when it happened. I'm very thankful for Naya taking care of me. She has been so amazing through all of this. I really don't think I could have made it through this without her.

I'm still trying to figure that dream out though. If I was crying out for Lea, like Naya said, why would I dream I was making love to Naya? I need to not let myself over analyze this because bad things tend to happen when I over think. I guess it's simple really...Lea wasn't there for me and Naya was. Even so, I could never go through with that. I have a good time with Nay, and yes she is gorgeous, but she's not Lea. Nobody will ever be Lea.

* * *

"Hey honey bunches," I heard Heather say sweetly as I walked into the living room in sweats and a hoodie. I planned on staying like this for the rest of the weekend. After all, I had nobody to impress.

"Hey Hemo," I smiled as she hugged me.

"Are you okay? We were so worried about you last night." Heather said as she sat next to Naya on the couch.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry anyone." I replied and collapsed on the loveseat pulling Arthur onto my lap.

"So, what was wrong? Why did you get so wasted."

Naya and I looked at each other. I was worried about telling more people. I don't want Lea to feel overwhelmed or pressured by others. Then again, not having anyone else to talk to besides Naya gets really hard sometimes.

"I didn't plan on getting that drunk. I wish that I hadn't." I sighed. "I was just sad Heather. Really...really...sad."

"Aw, Di, why?" Heather looked at me, eyes wide, and frowning.

"Have you ever been in love with someone that you can't have?"

"No..." Heather replied. That doesn't surprise me. I mean look at her. People fall at her feet.

"Well, I am and it's hard. It's really, really hard." I heard myself start to choke up.

"Naya! I'm ashamed of you! How can you not want to be with her?" Heather slapped Naya.

"Ow, damn!" Naya yelled and then laughed. "It's not me! I told y'all we are just friends. Shit..." Naya rubbed her arm.

I couldn't help but giggle. "It's not Naya hun."

"Oh, sorry Nay." Heather hugged her. "Well, if it's not Naya... then who is it?"

I took a deep breath. What the hell. "Lea..."

"LEA?" Heather screamed. "Are you serious?"

I nodded. I couldn't tell if she was happy, mad, sad, or what.

"Oh my god! When? Why? How the hell did this happen?" Heather was standing up now.

I laughed. "I don't know when it happened exactly. I just know that I have had feelings for a long time. Then, big mouth over there had to go and dare us to kiss and shit got crazy."

Naya shrugged, "I said I was sorry! I was trying to help!"

"I know babe." I smiled.

"So, what's going on? Did she like flip out on you or something? Is that why you were so sad?" Heather asked as she fell on to the couch.

"No, actually she said she had feelings for me too."

"WHAT?" Heather shrieked as she flew off of the couch again. "What does this mean?"

I was cracking up at her reaction. "I don't know. I told her to take her time and figure things out."

"But, she went away with Cory this weekend..." Heather said confused.

"I know..."

"Well, that's not cool." Heather said sharply as she sat back down.

"No, it's not." Naya said.

* * *

The three of us spent the rest of the day lounging on the couch, watching horrible reality television, and snacking. I was feeling better. We had a lot of laughs and my head wasn't pounding quite as terribly as it had been. I'm never drinking again.

We had said goodbye to Heather and Naya told me that she was going to stay the night. She didn't want me to be alone and I was reminded once again how thankful I am for our friendship.

"You know," Naya started as she brought out another tray of snacks and sat down, "she doesn't deserve you."

"Naya..." I said as I dipped my pita in hummus and sighed.

"I'm serious. I'm sorry. I mean I know you love her and all but anybody that can string you along like this...she doesn't deserve you."

"She's confused Nay."

"Yeah, well, she has a funny way of showing it. I mean she tells you she needs space and then runs off with Cory? I'm sorry. I still can't get over that." Naya looked at me and I'm guessing she could read my emotions because she changed her tone. "I mean...I love Lea...you know that.. she's amazing. It's just...I don't like how she is taking advantage of you..."

"I'm the one that told her to take her time Naya. I'm the one that told her that I would always wait for her." Sometimes I regret doing that. Sometimes I just want to grab her and tell her that she had to chose.

"I know. And you did the right thing. I just wish she would be a little more considerate as to how this all could be making you feel." Naya sighed.

I nodded. Naya was right. I guess. I just don't know what to think anymore.

* * *

Naya had fallen asleep about an hour ago and I was trying to make myself comfortable on the couch next to her. I couldn't sleep in my bed tonight. Not alone. I was about to lay my head down when I heard my phone go off. I sat up and grabbed it from the coffee table.

"I just want you to know that I miss you. I haven't stopped thinking about you." The words of Lea's text were staring back at me. I didn't know what to feel. I was happy for a split second seeing that she was thinking of me. Then, I remembered who she was with. I set my phone down. My head sunk into the couch and I cried myself to sleep...again.

* * *

With the help of my friends I had made it through the weekend and was heading onto set. I walked in to my trailer and instantly saw Lea sitting on the couch. I was suddenly overwhelmed with fear.

"Hey, I didn't expect to see you so early." I said to her as I tossed my things on the counter.

"I've been waiting for awhile. I guess I was just excited to see you." Lea smiled as she stood up and walked over to me. She wrapped her arms around me. "I was worried about you."

I hugged her tightly, "Why is that?"

"You never responded to my text messages." Lea said as she loosened her grip around my waist and looked into my eyes.

"I'm sorry. It was a rough weekend." I looked away from her.

"Aw, how come?" Lea said innocently.

"Really?" I had to laugh. How could she not know? "Lea, you were away...with Cory..."

"Oh," Lea looked down. "I'm sorry. I guess I didn't even think about that."

Ouch. That was worrying me. She didn't even think about how I could be feeling.

"I hope you know that I thought about you the entire time."

"Gross." I replied. I wasn't being sarcastic. The thought of her touching him and thinking about me did not make me happy. Was it supposed to? It definitely was not easing my mind. In fact, it made me angry. If you are going to be with him and think about me why not just be with me?

"Shut up! I don't mean it like that Dianna," Lea giggled. "There is something that I need to talk to you about. So, I was wondering if I could come over tonight?"

"Of course you can. I've told you before that you never have to ask."

Lea kissed my cheek, "Okay, I will see you tonight then. I have to get to make up but I'm glad I got to see you this morning. It was an amazing way to start my day." She smiled at me, I melted, and she walked out.

I wanted to be excited. She said she thought about me all weekend and now we need to talk. I couldn't help but be worried though. Nervous. Terrified.

* * *

Today we were filming the song, "Last Friday Night," and I was super excited about it. I loved when we did numbers when we were all dancing around because it gave me an excuse to flirt with Lea and nobody think twice of it.

I walked into the choir room and Naya grabbed me before I could sit down. "So, have you talked to her yet?"

"Yes." I smiled.

"And..." Naya asked her eyes huge.

"And, nothing yet." I giggled. "She is coming over tonight she said we had some things to discuss."

"Ooohh..." Naya hugged me.

"Well don't celebrate just yet we have no idea what she wants to talk about."

"I just have a good feeling about it that's all." Naya winked at me. I hope she's right.

After a little bit of sitting around watching the crew set things up Darren began singing and Lea and I found our way to each other, like we always do. I was having a fantastic time dancing, singing, and flirting with Lea but I couldn't help but watch Cory. I wanted to know what was said between them and if I was brought into the conversation or not. He had been distant with me all day. I sat down and waited for the next take to start. I started watching Lea dance around on the piano and Cory quickly was out of my mind. I cannot get over these dresses that she, I mean Rachel, wears. The girl has legs that drive me insane. I think I have actually had dreams about those legs.

* * *

I pulled into my driveway and saw that Lea had beat me home. I had stopped at her favorite restaurant and brought home some vegan lasagna. I thought it would be a nice surprise for her. Oh, and a bottle of wine...just in case.

I walked into the house and the image that I saw took my breath away. Lea was standing in the kitchen over the stove, hair tied back, candles lit, and singing. She was just in blue jeans and a black t-shirt but I don't think she had ever looked more beautiful. This. This is what I want to come home to every day. I would do anything to have this.

I don't know how long I stood there admiring her but I guess she felt someone watching because she spun around and smiled.

"Hi beautiful," Lea said practically running up to me.

I hid the take out bag behind my back and smiled. "Hi."

"I hope you're hungry," Lea smiled, "I'm making lasagna!"

Wow. I laughed in my head. We are meant to be. "I'm starved!" I said as she grabbed my hand and led me to the dining table.

"Have a seat," Lea pulled a chair out for me. She started to pour me a glass of wine as I set the bags on the table. "Oh god!" Lea laughed, "You brought home dinner?"

"Yeah," I giggled, "It's okay though because we can eat it for lunch tomorrow." I freaked out a little after saying that. I hope she didn't think I was implying that she would still be here at lunch tomorrow. That would be nice. I don't even know what she wants to talk about though. Geez, Dianna, calm down.

"Okay," Lea smiled, "What is it?" She asked as she peered into the bag.

I laughed, "lasagna..."

Lea smiled bigger than usual and winked at me. "Great minds think a like."

She turned around to check on the stove as I put the take out in the refrigerator.

"No, no, no, you sit down!" Lea grabbed my hand. "Take this and relax." She handed my glass of wine to me and practically pushed me down into the seat. "You aren't allowed to do anything tonight. Tonight is my way of thanking you."

"For what?" I asked curiously.

"Being you." Lea stated as she started mixing ingredients together. I did as I was told. I took a sip of my wine, took a deep breath, and relaxed as I admired the way her hips shook a little when she was stirring.

* * *

About an hour had passed of us chatting, flirting, and me watching her cook. When the lasagna was done she had made our plates and now we were sitting across from each other.

"So, like I had said earlier today. I want to talk to you about something."

Here it comes. I gulped. "Okay, I'm listening." I smiled at her and took another drink.

"Well, I want you to know that I didn't do anything with Cory this weekend."

I did not want to hear about Cory but that was a relief I guess.

"In fact..." Lea looked at me, "I spent the weekend alone.."

I almost choked on my lasagna. Which, by the way, was to die for. I didn't know what to say. Too many emotions running through my mind.

"I told him that I realized I wasn't feeling what he was feeling and that it wasn't fair for me to be with him. I told him that he deserves to be with someone that would give him everything he needs."

I was still speechless. The suspense of where this might be going was killing me.

"I told him that I didn't want to see him anymore." Lea looked at me and smiled softly.

"...what did he say about that?" I asked quietly.

"That's not important." Lea shook her head. "What is important is what I have to say to you."

I took another deep breath.

"Dianna...I want to be with you..." Lea said confidently. "Only you."

I could feel my eyes swell up. "You do?"

Lea nodded her head. "I do. I realize that you are the one that I want to be with. You are the one that I look forward to seeing every morning. You are the one that makes me feel special. You are the one that I want to kiss before I fall asleep every night."

I couldn't contain it anymore the tears started flowing down my face.

"Sweetie, don't cry." Lea said as she stood up and pulled me to my feet. "If you still want me...I'm all yours..."

I didn't have to reply. I don't think I could find the right words even if I wanted to. I just grabbed her face and kissed her. Our lips met and this kiss was unlike anything I have ever experienced. Then again, I have never experienced a love like this ei


End file.
